Thank you for taking time to review the recap of Session 7- Discerning God's Call in your life: Struggle: The Moment of Conversion. If this is your first time viewing the blog- welcome- we're so glad you're here. Please take note of previous sessions as they lay the foundation for the topics discussed in the recap of session 7. Note also the updates on certain sections of the blog- specifically the "Hygiene Kit Inventory Poll". We're down to the home-stretch here, so please be sure to pick up your travel-sized donations for our hygiene kits. There is also a new ministry opportunity in "Spotlight on Ministry".
To augment your Lenten season, please visit our Good Shepherd Prayer Blog. This is a place to post your prayers and know that a community of faith is lifting them up to God. Visit the blog to get all the particulars on joining us for prayer at Good Shepherd on Sunday evenings as well as our 48 hour vigil during Holy Week. "Thank you" to Chuck Bristol for following your heart in leading this ministry.
To augment your Lenten season, please visit our Good Shepherd Prayer Blog. This is a place to post your prayers and know that a community of faith is lifting them up to God. Visit the blog to get all the particulars on joining us for prayer at Good Shepherd on Sunday evenings as well as our 48 hour vigil during Holy Week. "Thank you" to Chuck Bristol for following your heart in leading this ministry.
If you are seeking a community of faith- you are most welcome to join us! We would love the opportunity know you. For more information about who we are- please see our website-www.goodshepherdvancouver.org. Whether you're in the Portland, Oregon/Vancouver, Washington area or far away, please continue to grow in faith with us by checking our blog as we discover more about developing a discerning heart through the lessons of St. Ignatius of Loyola and the Holy Scriptures.
In this week's session we will be looking at the Moment of Conversion and the concept of "struggle" as a fundamental aspect of a healthy relationship. In a nutshell- struggle is a normal though costly experience for developing a discerning heart (Smith and Merz, 2006). Ignatius believed that the "movements within us" (the spirits) will not always be tending in the same God-ward direction. In fact we often find ourselves being urged to give precedence to ourselves, expressing our self-will not God's gracious will. Part of our spiritual journey is developing an increased awareness of when we blindly move away from God and when we purposefully move away from God. In effect, choosing anything but God- is choosing desolation (Recall Session 4). Conversely, in the moment of struggle-to choose to lean into God, we find ourselves with greater interior freedom and feelings of consolation (Recall Session 5). Again I find myself amazed at Ignatius' perspective on choosing to turn away from God.
About spiritual desolation: By [this kind of] desolation I mean everything which is the contrary of what was described in the Third Rule; for example, obtuseness of soul, turmoil within it, an impulsive motion toward low and earthly things, or disquiet from various agitations and temptations. These move one toward lack of faith and leave one without hope and without love. One is completely listless, tepid, and unhappy, and feels separated from our Creator and Lord. For just as consolation is contrary to desolation, so the thoughts which arise from consolation are likewise contrary to those which spring from desolation (Spiritual Exercises, 317).
One translation describes the effect of the moment of struggle on the soul as "restlessness...loss of faith, loss of hope, and loss of love...apathetic, tepid, sad and separated...from it's Creator and Lord...". I've been there, I've even lived there- for a time. I'm sure you have too. Maybe you are living there right now. But just as we can choose to turn away from God, we can also lean into Him and experience the movements of grace such that the choices for God's will before us seem to flow almost naturally. God has a covenant with you and I- and no matter where we turn, He's with us. Time and time again God has been faithful to that covenant, even in the face of our behavior, testing, impertinence,...and on and on and on.....and yet, He reminds us "I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:20). Wow!
Igantius noted that "good spirits find it in their nature to stir up courage and strength." I find it comforting to know that God has placed warriors on my side- not just spiritual warriors who provide me with courage and strength, but also people that He has placed in my life who serve to bolster me in times of struggle. Engaging in formal spiritual direction with a mentor who knows the ways of God can help us reflect upon our experiences of consolation and desolation and more importantly- hone in on the issue to be discerned which can in turn, produce clarity and knowledge for us.
Moreover, we must not be misled by Ignatius's term "movement of spirits" as meaning that we can expect smooth, steady, conscious, constructive, enlightened and orderly transitions toward God. Life and discernment have shown us quite the opposite can be true. In first admitting that you do not want what God wants- whatever that is- one can identify the depth of one's struggle and then consciously choose whether or not to follow God's will. Struggle holds within in it, a call to humility and trust in God's ways that are often so mysterious. Discerning through the moment of struggle will enable us to live more intentionally and be aware of God's action in our lives so that we can cooperate and truly live into being the hands and feet of Jesus. Let's examine more closely this moment of struggle-
Jesus Christ as Normative for My Life Moreover, we must not be misled by Ignatius's term "movement of spirits" as meaning that we can expect smooth, steady, conscious, constructive, enlightened and orderly transitions toward God. Life and discernment have shown us quite the opposite can be true. In first admitting that you do not want what God wants- whatever that is- one can identify the depth of one's struggle and then consciously choose whether or not to follow God's will. Struggle holds within in it, a call to humility and trust in God's ways that are often so mysterious. Discerning through the moment of struggle will enable us to live more intentionally and be aware of God's action in our lives so that we can cooperate and truly live into being the hands and feet of Jesus. Let's examine more closely this moment of struggle-
Jesus Christ's entire life was a discernment to know and do the will of his Father. For Christians, Jesus' life, death and resurrection is the normative pattern. Gradually our discerned decisions draw us to a deeper likeness to Christ (Smith and Merz, 2006).
Ignatian Insight
"As he read them over many time [The Life of Christ and a book on the saints], he became rather fond of what he found written there. But interrupting his reading, he sometimes stopped to think about he things he had read and at other times about the things of the world that he used to think of before." (Autobiography, 6).
"His whole intention was to do such great external works because the saints had done so for the glory of God, without considering any more particular prospect" (Spiritual Exercises, 214).
Scriptural Insight
"Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ. More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but one that comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness for God based on faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death, if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtain this or have already reached the goal but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own....Let those of us then who are mature be of the same mind' and if you think differently about anything this too God will reveal to you. Only let us hold fast to what we have attained" (Philippians 3:7-12,15-16).
"Once when Jesus was praying alone, with only the disciples near him, he asked them, 'Who do the crowds say that I am?" (Luke 9:18).
Reflection Questions
- What answer would I give to Jesus' question, "Who do you say that I am?"
- How has my understanding of the person and mission of Jesus changed during my lifetime?
- Do I use Jesus as a reference point when making my decisions?
- What helps me to stay in tune with the liturgical seasons win which the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus unfold?
- To what qualities in the person of Jesus as I drawn at his time in my life?
- What does the meaning of Jesus' suffering and death offer to my understanding of discernment?
- Consider a relationship- Which of Jesus' values are most difficult for me to practice in my relationships?
- Consider a relationship- Has my commitment to Jesus Christ ever led me to end a relationship? How did that choice affect me and others?
- What values of Jesus are we especially begin called to practice at this time?
- What is making it difficult for us to practice the values of Jesus? What supports us in doing that?
- What other models of wholeness compete with Jesus Christ for a place as normative in my life?
Becoming discerning will include the invitation to metanoia, a conversion of heart. As we make our way toward greater clarity about God's will, we will discover those places in our way toward greater clarity about God's will, we will discover those places in our mind, heart, and life-patterns that must change so that our life will reflect the mind, heart, and actions of Jesus.
Ignatian Insight
"In the case of persons who are going from one mortal sin to another, the enemy ordinarily proposes to them apparent pleasures. He make them imagine delights and pleasures of the senses, in order to hold them fast and plunge them deeper into their sins and vices. But the persons of this type the good spirit uses a contrary procedure. Through their good judgment on problems of morality he stings their consciences with remorse." (Rules for Discernment, 314).
"....For everyone ought to reflect that in all spiritual matters, the more one divests oneself of self-love, self-will, and self-interests, the more progress one will make" (Spiritual Exercises, 189).
Scriptural Insight
"The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: 'Come, go down to the potter's house, and there I will let you hear my words.' So I went down to the potter's house, and there he was working at his wheel. The vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter's hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as seemed good to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me: Can I not do with you, O house of Israel, just as this potter has done? says the Lord. Just like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel" (Jeremiah 18:1-6).
"For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do...For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from the body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:19,22-25).
Reflection Questions
- What have been God's ways of calling me to a conversion of heart at earlier times in my life?
- How have earlier experiences of conversion of heart helped me to become more truly my best self?
- What is my resistance to God's call of surrender?
- Consider a relationship- What am I being asked to turn away from in order to turn more completely to the Lord?
- In what virtue am I called to grow at this time of my life in order to be more like the Lord?
- What attitudes or attachments are preventing us as a church from being truly open to God's presence and action among us?
- What will be required of us as a church if we take ongoing conversion seriously? How does this apply to Mission 2018?
- What is my reaction to the suggestions that we need a conversion of heart and action in order to be respectful steward of the goods of our planet?
- How are the poor and struggling people of the world calling me to a conversion of the heart?
Self-discipline is a critical resource for discerning persons. With it, we can deny ourselves when God's call requires that loving sacrifice. It leads us to attend more carefully to our interior spiritual movements and motivations, to the steps in the discernment process and to the information related to our discernment (Smith and Merz, 2006).
Ignatian Insight
"It should be presupposed that every good Christian ought to be more eager to put a good interpretation on a neighbor's statement than to condemn it. Further, if one cannot interpret it favorably, one should ask how the other means it. If that meaning is wrong, one should correct the person with love; and if this is not enough, one should search out every appropriate means through which, by understanding the statement in a good way, it may be saved" (Spiritual Exercises, 22).
"When we abstain from what is superfluous we are practicing, not penance, but temperance. We practice penance when we abstain from what is ordinarily suitable." (Spiritual Exercises, 83).
Scriptural Insight
"When Jesus heard this, he said to him, 'There is still one thing lacking. Sell all that you own and distribute the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.'" (Luke 18:22)
"And he said to them, 'Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you may not come into the time of trial." (Luke 22:46)
Reflection Questions
- How serious am I about giving more than lip service to my discipleship?
- Have I developed an attitude toward self-sacrifice that views it as a way of loving?
- In what areas of my life have I allowed a lack of self-discipline to take hold?
- Do I draw on habits of self-discipline when I find prayer is dry or boring?
- Consider a relationship- What am I learning about the role of self-discipline at those times when there is struggle or suffering in our relationship?
- Do we have sufficient self-discipline to deal patiently with the many facets within any controversy?
- Are we able to practice self-discipline without becoming rigid, unfeeling or distrustful?
- Is my self-discipline developed enough to allow me to bring understanding and compassion to those who differ from me?
- Would greater self-discipline free some of my time for location actions for justice?
While discernment is an ongoing process, it also requires, at times, a clear, specific, and decisive response to what we have discovered to be God's desire. Our response then initiates a time of implementation that itself calls for ongoing discernment (Smith and Merz, 2006).
Ignatian Insight
"The method which he followed while he was drafting the Constitutions was to say Mass each day and to present to God the point that he was treating and to pray over it; he always had tears at prayer and at Mass" (Autobiography, 101).
"One who is in consolation should consider how he or she will act in future desolation, and store up new strength for that time" (Spiritual Exercises, 323).
"There are three chief causes for the desolation in which we find ourselves...The second is that the desolation is meant to test how much we are worth and how far we will extend ourselves int eh service and praise of God, even without much repayment by way of consolations and increased graces" (Spiritual Exercises, 322).
Scriptural Insight
"Then Mary said, 'Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word'" (Luke 1:38).
"She said to him, 'Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of god, the one coming into the world'" (John 11:27).
"Father, if you are willing remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done" (Luke 22:42).
"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?' He said to him, 'Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.' Jesus said to him, 'Feed my lambs'" (John 21:15)
Reflection Questions
- What helps me to remember that, while my response will be to some extent limited or imperfect, it can be used by God to carry out God's plan in my life?
- Am I free enough to make my decision regardless of what other people may think of it?
- Have I continued to ask God to give me the interior freedom that I need to discover and carry out God's will?
- Do my daily responses keep me faithful to both my identity and the responsibilities of all my relationships?
- Consider a relationship- Am I aware that I may have to respond in a way that will displease or disappoint someone who is important to me?
- Am I willing to trust that God will guide us through that painful moment?
- Consider moments of transition in Good Shepherd's history (Building the sanctuary, Christy coming aboard, Bob's retirement, Tom's arrival, and now living into Mission 2018) How have we embraced the decisions we have made?
- Have we begun the hard work of implementing them? What have you done to aid in this implementation?
- What responses am I making locally to contribute to just decisions for future generations?
Central to God's plan for growth is the dynamic process of conversion through which our minds and hearts are gradually shaped to be the mind and heart of Jesus Christ. Jesus becomes the norm for my life as I open to conversion. Self-discipline is required to make the often difficult choices in response to God's daily invitations. Through which faith-filled choices God transforms not only our minds and hearts, but also our relationships. The Moment of conversion re-orients a relationship so that the persons can become progressively more interiorly free for service of the reign of God in the world (Smith and Merz, 2006).
Let Us Pray
Father, grant us the grace to embrace the life-death and resurrection of Jesus as the pattern and norm for all aspects of my life. Help us to be open to the conversion of the heart, the metanoia, that I need in order to respond to God's daily, and sometimes surprising, calls to reflect on the values of Jesus. Assist us in developing a more disciplined approach in our daily lives by means of our choices regarding things such as use of time, food and drink, consumer habits, and leisure patterns. Finally Lord, grant us the grace to become sensitive to the moment when discernment requires a response that seems to be the best possible action at this time. All this we ask in Jesus' name. Amen
